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‘My boyfriend’s phone is always going off and the constant noise is driving me crazy’


A woman has shared her frustrations over her partner’s constant phone use and refusal to put the device on silent as it means their private time is always being ‘interrupted’

Argument between boyfriend and girlfriend
The woman was fed up of listening to her boyfriend’s phone going off (Stock Image)

We don’t know why, but it’s just really not that socially acceptable to have your phone on loud all the time.

If you’re in public and your phone isn’t on silent, all eyes will turn on you if it starts ringing, as though you’ve just stood up and announced something earth-shattering.

Now imagine if you were just at home minding your own business whilst your boyfriend’s WhatsApp, Messenger, iMessage, Snapchat and Instagram notifications are popping off day in, day out. It would get annoying really quickly.

Someone took to the Guardian’s ‘you be the judge’ recently to claim they’d found themselves in this exact situation and to ask what people thought about her frustrations.

The woman, known only as Ravinda, said that her boyfriend, Derek, never has his phone on silent and it drives her mad.

She explained: “He loves having his phone on full volume all the time. Europe’s The Final Countdown blasts out each time he gets a call, and he has those clanging bells for his app notifications and texts. He takes a lot of calls and I can hear his phone constantly beeping, chiming and buzzing.”






The woman isn’t happy her boyfriend won’t put his phone on silent (Stock Image)

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The man claims that the notification sounds help him keep on top of his work, but his partner isn’t convinced.

Ravinda added: “It’s not just work – he keeps his phone on loud in the evenings, too. Our conversations and private time are constantly interrupted by alerts announcing some Instagram updates.”

Derek wanted to defend himself, saying: “Phones make a sound for a reason – so that we can stay on track of our notifications and messages. I don’t know why Ravinda is so offended by this concept.”

He explained he wants his notifications on so he doesn’t miss anything with his busy digital marketing role and he likes having the sound on.

He admitted getting a thrill from notifications and even said he’d started to turn his phone on silent during the night at Ravinda’s request because otherwise, it’d cause problems. But he refuses not to have the notifications on during the day because they ‘make his life easier.’

One wrote: “Derek, there’s no need for full volume and all the alerts that are bleeding into your home lives. There’s no excuse for that level of intrusion: you can get notifications through vibrating alerts or a smartwatch. The lack of compromise shows a lack of consideration for Ravinda. Be the better person here.”

Another offered: “Sharing a work and home space requires negotiation and compromise. For harmony, Derek needs to find a decibel level and tone agreeable to Ravinda. There’s a thrill to switching your phone to silent!”

A third replied: “Derek needs to ask why he derives so much of his self-worth from clients and pings on his phone. Rather than undermining Ravinda, he ought to think about accommodating and prioritising her presence when they’re sharing space and time.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments.

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